


break me like a promise

by yurios (seikou)



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, fails at english tbh, implied tachibana makoto/nanase haruka, life is hard when you feel like angst-ing, makoto you big shit, rin baby. i'll marry you i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikou/pseuds/yurios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Uhm--" Rin stared at them, wide-eyed.</p><p>Yeah, 'uhm' was what he was feeling. He couldn't even string any proper words. So tongue-tied at what he saw that his brain short-circuited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	break me like a promise

**Author's Note:**

> I present you all with an angst!fic a day after Valentine's day. teehee. Anyways, I feel like angst, so I wrote angst. At work. Like hell. Didn't have anything to do anyways, so why the fuck not. And this was the result. And I was totally not feeling like shit while I continue working. ahahaha. Okay. Bye ;a;

There were different types of people. Rin knew that because he's met different kinds of them and the real world wasn't as nice as when he was just a little brat.

Bad guys were everywhere and good guys were everywhere. Not all of them were what they appear to be though; some bad guys were sheep in wolves clothing and then some good people were wolves in sheep clothing.

However, what Rin didn't expect was this.

Makoto was a good guy; soft and kind and shy and almost timid. But he found out that no, Makoto was a paradox; confusing and very much interesting. That was what drew Rin to him. He was curious and wanted to solve Makoto. Now though, it was so hard to formulate anything.

Rin's eyes darted from person to person. When were they going to notice him?

"Uhm--" Rin stared at them, wide-eyed.

Yeah, ' _uhm'_  was what he was feeling. He couldn't even string any proper words. So tongue-tied at what he saw that his brain short-circuited.

"Rin!" Makoto literally jumped, hands clenching at his sides.

"No. I mean, what--" Rin shook his head; the fog was clearing and he felt like vomitting. And he hadn't even eaten yet. He was going to puke nothing but all his jumbled emotions. "What is going on? Mako?"

So cliché. Fucking movie worthy scene.

Haruka stood next to Makoto. Makoto who was his lover and a good guy through and through but apparently-- apparently not.

Rin swallowed; hard and audible and tight.

"I'm sorry." Makoto blurted, feet planted on place and eyes glancing away from Rin.

Rin didn't understand. Wasn't he supposed to be frantic and sputtering and _fucking begging?_

Haruka opened his mouth. Rin could practically feel the guilt and apology rolling off his tongue before he even form the words. But no-- no. Rin would never let him.

Would never let them.

He sent a cold glare towards the oldest of them, shutting Haruka up immediately.

"I see." Rin choked out. "Sorry for intruding."He continued. "Here's your fucking dinner." He shoved a plastic bag of chinese food to Makoto so hard the large male huffed in agony.

It was pain and shame and betrayal rolled into one; the tugging on his stomach that was making him hold his breath for so long he started to feel dizzy.

Rin knew there were all types of people. But he didn't expect for Makoto to turn from a sheep to a wolf.

"I should go." He said, but didn't move from his place. He was glued. His brain was shouting for him to go away and wallow in his own misery but his body was stiff, refusing to even move a muscle. "But--" He sighed, took a deep breath and trained his stinging eyes at Makoto. "I should let you explain, right?" He smiled. The suffocating feeling in his chest arising with every breath and he was almost afraid that he was going to have a heart-attack. "Since when, Makoto? Haru?"

Makoto eyed him painfully; the kind that showed how sorry he was for everything. Probably for existing too.

"A month." Haruka was the one who answered his question. Always blunt, honest, Haru.

"Okay."

He should've known but maybe being  _in_ love made you blind to obvious things.

Like your boyfriend and best friend getting it on behind your back.  _Goodness gracious, fucking indeed._ _  
_

"I never meant to-- We were planning to tell you... Rin." Makoto; lovely Makoto. Kind Makoto. The love of his life Makoto.

"Hmm." Rin hummed, shutting his eyes for a brief moment. "Okay. It's good. Fine.  _Rad._ " And now the English was surfacing. Bad omen. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!"

Rin Matsuoka wasn't known for being composed. He was irritatingly impatient and rude. With a mouth that could put a sailor to shame. But he was being composed now. Finding out that you've lost someone important to you without even knowing it would make you do that.

Deep breaths. Long and steady. Calm before the storm.

"Fuck you!" His voice rose; from normal to straining to loud.

Achingly loud.

"Sorry, sorry. I shouted." He gulped, then looked at the  _couple_ again. "Can't blame me, you know. I just got my heart broken. Hilarious, isn't it?" He let out a dry laugh and started clutching his red hair tightly. "I'm fucking sorry."

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. For being not enough. For falling in love. For taking everything seriously.

Rin wiped his eyes. Surprisingly enough, he wasn't crying. Although, he must have looked quite insane. Quite hurt. And a lot broken.

"It's not you-- Rinrin..." Makoto took a step towards him. He was frowning. Rin could see that even when he was trying to focus on the wall behind Makoto. Ironically enough, there was a picture of them hanging there. Fucking nice. "Rin." He snapped his head towards the moving Makoto, eyes narrowing quickly. Seeing that, Makoto stopped his hands and arms and legs from moving and craddling the redhead close to him. "It's not your fault." Makoto said instead, sighing so deep it was almost a growl.

Again, a laugh bubbled out of Rin's lips. "' _It's not you, it's me.'_ Is that it, Mako? Thanks. Thank you very much." (For at least choosing me first). "For everything. Including this! And Haru-- I'm..." He wanted to hate them. He was working on it. But for now-- the dagger through his heart and the lump stuck in his throat were still there. So raw and new. "And Haru, please take care of him." He forced the words out and swallowed the _'I love him. I love him. I love him. More than you. But make him happy 'cause I couldn't.'_ The words, the thoughts were like picking glass shards from his skin. Was he bleeding? Hopefully not.

He looked at Haruka with a small smile. His face ached and his lips trembled but he was going to be fine.

Haruka looked at him; straight in the eyes, revealing what he truly felt. Rin didn't care about the guilt that was showing in those normally apathetic eyes. He waited for the older's response and gave a breath of choked relief when he heard, "I will. I promise, I will."

And Rin's shoulders finally sagged. He was tired. So tired. So exhausted.

"Okay."

That was an overstatement. But Rin couldn't find any word good enough to express himself.

"Okay." He repeated, licking his lower lip and biting it until he was sure it was bleeding. "Yeah, okay. I need to-- I need to go." He muttered, nodding and shuffled his feet but still he was reluctant.

When Makoto grabbed him and gathered him into his arms, Rin let him. He was on the verge of breaking further anyways. So why not hasten the process?

"I love you, Rin." Makoto whispered to him.

Rin nodded stiffly. "Yeah."

"Remember that, please." Makoto insisted, almost pleaded. Rin felt Makoto's fingers ran through the strands of his hair. Like he was trying to memorize the feel of it.

"Yeah." Rin repeated, now feeling numb.

He pushed himself away from Makoto's embrace. Then, with a last painful smile, he turned around and walked away.

There were different fucking kinds of people in the world. Rin knew that and he was always careful. But people makes mistakes. And they learn from them.

Giving up, Rin didn't think he was stupid. Blind, yes. In love, more so. But there wasn't anything fighting for. He wasn't  _stupid_ and yet--

The sun was starting to set. He looked up and breathed in the fresh air. The day hasn't ended yet. He was going to be fine. Albeit broken but fine. Okay. Alright. Good enough to live for another day.


End file.
